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Embarrassed to See an Old Friend

 

Thursday, July 27, 2006

 

I met an old friend tonight for dinner that I have not seen for almost 20 years.  I was in much, much better shape back then and was almost embarrassed to meet her, especially after she told me that she was a personal trainer.  I thought, “Oh great, I am a fatso and she will be this skinny little thing.”  Before I tell you about the dinner, let me step back a little bit.  I was never embarrassed of my weight.  Yes, I knew that I was carrying a few pounds too much, and yes, I had already started to lose some weight before I found out about the diabetes to make my wife happy (she wants that in-shape guy she first met when we started dating) – but I was never embarrassed by my appearance.

 

Since I have been diagnosed, and have begun to diet aggressively, I have become more and more body conscience.  I am the same person - just a few pounds heavier.  Over the last week I have begun to notice when a heavy person was eating an ice cream or some really bad junk food and thought how terrible it was for them to be doing this to themselves.  Just a few weeks ago I would have either not noticed, or said “hey, if they are comfortable with themselves, then good for them.”  One part of me thinks that this is a really poor way to feel, to judge people based on their weight – the other part feels that I should do something to help them so that they do not wind up with diabetes or worse.

 

Anyway, we met for dinner (I walked the 2 + miles to the restaurant from the office) and she definitely looked good – she was in very good shape.  I did feel a little self conscious at first, but then said to myself that I was best friends with this girl all those years ago, it is not going to matter what I look like.  I am not here on a date, but to reminisce about old times with a good friend.  We had a good time talking.  And what did I eat? We went to an Indian restaurant and I ordered the health salad to begin with (a tossed salad that was chopped up) and had the Lamb Takki (grilled lamb cubes) over rice (which I only ate a ½ cup).  I had water and a little bit of the flat bread they placed on the table with some of the spices.  Also, the only thing I drank was water.  To summarize: I met an old friend for dinner and stayed within my meal plan.

 

PS: One of the recipe books I ordered from Amazon arrived today. I will try to give a review/preview of it tomorrow or over the weekend.

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